I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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