They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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