I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
