I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
