goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
