seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
