Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
