Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
