she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
