I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
