My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
