She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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