This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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