Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
