Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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