What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
