Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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