So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
