Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
