Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
