I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
