the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
