your parents love me but you hate me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
