carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
