I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
