I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
