the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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