420 ftw
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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