btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
