Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
