and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
