just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
