I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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