You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
