My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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