Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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