I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
