I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
