it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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