My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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