1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am midnight drunk by noon
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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