I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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