SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
