Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
