6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
