we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
