I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
