In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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