I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
