I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
