after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
