from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
